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Joke of the Day

"Get AIDS from a toilet seat A patient says, Doctor, can I get AIDS from a toilet seat? The doctor replies, Yes, but only by sitting down before the last guy gets up."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard!"

"So a jew, a homosexual and a black man walk into a bar. The bartender says: ""Get the fuck out!"""

"The ""self-lubricated catheter"" and the ""discreet pocket catheter"" have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life."

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work."

"""How much are these glasses?"" ""$150 sir"" ""I guess you could say"" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*"

"Sometimes I just get tired of my new neighbors that I just want to strap a dildo on my head and anally rape them like a unicorn."

"What can a homeless figure skater do to get by? Turn-tricks"

"Why should you always keep a firearm in the small room by your front door? Foyer protection"

"I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't."