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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to hold the penis. I mean ladder, one to hold the ladder."

"[NSFW] Gay dad John: Bill, I just found out that my dad is gay. Bill: Oh? How'd you find out? John: His dick tasted like shit."

"Why did the accountant go crazy? He started to hear invoices in his head."

"Why was red sad? Because he was feeling blue"

"What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door? It won't be long now..."

"I was looking through the living room window at the tree I'd just planted and I thought to myself ""Why didn't I plant it out here in the garden?"""

"I came. I saw. I... Oh, shit! Does anyone know how to remove semen from woodworking tools?"

"If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you'll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway."

"What does a taxidermist do for a living? Oh you know... stuff..."

"There are only 10 types of people in the world... Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who mistake it for binary."