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Joke of the Day

"7% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just received dessert."

"Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first? So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips."

"This yogurt is so cultured, I can only eat it when I'm listening to Beethoven."

"Why is Santas sack so big? Because he only comes once a year"

"A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist."

"According to a study I read... Men think about the adjectival form of pus every 6 seconds."

"Dark humour It's like a child with cancer.... It never gets old."

"That's it! No more dick jokes! I'm only doing jokes about intellectual topics, like finance! Today the Vietnamese Dong remained firm against the Zambian Kwacha."

"How do you make Hitler cry? Easy just show him his gas bill."

"What's the difference between dead hookers and copper plumbing? I don't have copper plumbing 8n my crawlspace."