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Joke of the Day

"Never ever marry a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. "

"It is almost 2012 and we still don't have printers that can successfully cancel jobs."

"I've never had a better karate instructor than a spider web."

"10 Dollar Compliment A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""

"What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion? A Tomartyr"

"What kind of outfit says ""I want you to let me stand in your group so I don't look like a loser but I don't want to talk to any of you""?"

"Today somebody called me a model! Well they said ""poster boy for birth control"", but I knew what they meant."

"Have a headache? Eating a carrot can help if you take a Advil after it"

"I'm ready to be a father now that I've successfully fed a goldfish for a week-he's so happy, he's relaxing & floating on his back...wait..."