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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I can't make a vitamin"

"Good thing they had us dissect frogs in high school that prepared us for all the times in real life we've had to dissect frogs."

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"My friend David lost his ID recently. Now we just call him Dav."

"I bought a new thesaurus the other day. It's nothing to write house about."

"Q: Why does everyone hate a banjo right off? A: Saves time."

"LPT: Always make sure to post to the correct subreddit. It is an embarrassing mistake and most people will think you're an idiot."

"Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead"

"Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino? Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL"

"A girl asked me if I was into anal sex... I said I've never tried it, but I figure it'd be fucking shit."