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Joke of the Day

"How come its okay to tackle someone who wants to jump in front of a train but its unacceptable to slap a Big Mac out of their fat face."

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control."

"Why does a farmer fuck his sheep at the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back."

"So I was in my house masturbating... and my sister comes up to me all indignant like. She asks me what the hell is wrong with me. I reply that she should knock before coming into her room."

"""how'd your football team football today?"" those footballers footballed quite well...really good footballin'"

"All I got my wife for her birthday was a mirror. That'll show her who's boss."

"Oh Subway You got busted lying about how big it is, no worries we've been doing that for years. Sincerely; Guys"

"Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries."

"If I was rich I'd hire a guy named Matt to stand in the tub and I'd call him my ""bath Matt."" And I'd also do stuff for malaria and stuff."

"Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? Because he only made a good buccaneer."