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Joke of the Day

"If someone honks at you in traffic, honk back and yell ""HEY, OUR CARS ARE TALKING!"""

"Don't take me camping because if I see a bear, I will hug that bear."

"What does a baby sound like when you put it in the microwave? Idk, I was too busy jacking off..."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Bill fucked fewer people in the Oval Office."

"""Yep, I'm going to jail."" When a State Trooper takes the same exit off the highway*"

"My girlfriend's new tattoo My girlfriend has a tattoo of seashell on the inside of her leg. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the sea!"

"I like my women like I like my microwaves Small, white, and will kill any baby I put inside it."

"What did the frog say to his girlfriend while she was giving him a handjob? Rubbit, Rubbit!"

"[god creating an pigeon] what if i gave this piece of shit wings"

"At the bus stop ""Wow, the boy over there is ugly."" - ""That's my Son!"" - ""Oh sorry, I did not know that you are the father"" - **""I am his mother!""**"