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Joke of the Day

"British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray."

"Who are the best readers in the world? Suicide jumpers : hundreds of stories in a few seconds"

"Friends with benefits who are bad at sex ...are hard to come by."

"We all grew up in the hood Childhood"

"Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?"

"My girlfriend put on a few pounds recently. That explains why I'm attracted to her more."

"I have no idea where all these trebuchet jokes came from then it hit me from 300 meters away."

"Every dog, in a previous life, has been murdered by a shoe."

"[undercover FBI agent steps out of his surveillance van, knocks on my front door] do you ever stop eating?"

"*phone rings* Yoda: Yoda Luke: WTF VADER'S MY DAD? Y: Uh L: And you knew & told me to kill him? Y: L: Y: Going thru a tunnel I am *hangs up*"