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Joke of the Day

"Would you like a bag with that? Would you like a bag with that? Would you like a bag with that? I know now it isn't really the most efficient way to sell tea!"

"America Found Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."

"Do you know the difference between camping and molestation? No? In that case, do you want to go camping this weekend?"

"How do you tell... How do you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes!"

"A prostate exam... Is worrying when the doctor shouts ""look no hands!"""

"If I had known ""cuties"" were little oranges when my wife asked me to ""bring a few home,"" I could have avoided these awkward introductions."

"Women are like a swimming pool... considering the money you spent on it and the time you spend in it"

"Some guy jumped me in the alley...! Yeah he was so nice. My battery had run out because I left my lights on!"

"What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert? A Standing Blow-vation."

"How do you know if someone is half texan and half Canadian? It rhymes when they say. ""Keep at eye out for a coyote."""