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Joke of the Day

"What did the ill kitty say to the playful puppy? ""Not right meow, I have a headache."""

"What does Hillary Clinton's presidency and Bill Clinton's presidency have in common? They were both ruined by weiners."

"I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him cry. It was just a Nerf gun you big baby!"

"An 'overdose' is what happens when you suck at taking drugs."

"Me: Ugh. Something I ate this morning didn't agree with me. [Inside my stomach] Chicken Quesadilla: ""The Notebook"" was an overrated film."

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."

"I saw an advert that read: ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought to myself, I can't turn that down."

"What do you call a group of famous people? Constellation."

"The awkward moment when you can't read your own handwriting and you're like ""WTF did I just write?!"""

"What's the worst kind of tea? Emptea!"