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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right..."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? an investigator. :D"

"If you can't find the source of a quote, attribute it to Kurt Vonnegut, Einstein, Dorothy Parker, or H. L. Mencken and move on."

"Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days."

"Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?"

"So what do you do for a living? Im in organ trafficking. Fu** ! Dont you have a heart? Was that a critic or an order?"

"I wish I was a baby so I could pass out in public with a bottle and no one would look twice."

"Did you hear about the twins with a fruit fetish? (May be NSFW) They came in pears"

"My new years resolution for 2017 1920x1080"

"Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed? Because they finish each other's sentences"