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Joke of the Day

"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."

"Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. ba dum tish!"

"i wear glasses n walk around eating apples n everyone is like ""wow. he prolly subscribes 2 the economist"" but joke's on them i can't read"

"Show me on this lemon where life gave it to you."

"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog guy? Make me one with everything."

"[parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?"

"Did you hear about Greek porn? They can't do money shots anymore"

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison ."

"What do Detroit and the Olympics have in common? You hear a gunshot and see a bunch of black guys running"

"why did they bury liberace face down? so his friends could stop by for a cold one..."