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Joke of the Day

"Why are the steaks so high? Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field."

"Who makes more money: a prostitute or a drug dealer? Depends on who has the best crack."

"My lesbian neighbour just gave me a Rolex I think she misunderstood when I told her I wanna watch..."

"childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is"

"I wear Fake ""Vans""(Shoes) So I just call them cars."

"Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Montana? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin!"

"Facebook timelines are just a step by step account of your march toward death."

"A first kiss so tentative and awkward, you regret all the time you spent practicing on your beagle. Did I just say that out loud?"

"Boss: Good suggestions at the staff meeting today, Bill. Me: I talk in my sleep?"

"Life is a lot like sex... It's way too short and rarely lives up to the expectation."