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Joke of the Day

"Why are the steaks so high? Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field."

"I'm just waiting for a bold, courageous restaurant that IS responsible for lost or stolen items."

"Doggies get too much credit for that position. Really, every animal likes to do it that way."

"I left my adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now it's a Ford Focus."

"Can a ninja throw a star? Shur-he-can!"

"I took a piano lesson with Elton John... He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool."

"60% of African American girls agree to giving me a blowjob I guess you could call it a 3/5's compromise"

"My mistress bought me a Neck Clampotron XXX 5 years ago, and I've never looked back since!"

"Sea World threw me out for trying to ride the manatee What's the big deal? It's not like I did it on porpoise!"

"Went to the zoo last week and all they had was one animal and it was a dog... It was a shih tzu."