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Joke of the Day

"Ariel was a minor and couldn't sign a legally binding contract. You'd think the king of the ocean's lawyers could get that shit thrown out."

"Why do women die from suicide five times less than men? Because they can't climb high enough on the corporate ladder."

"Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners? Because usually they're stuck with reservations."

"I went into panera the other day The clerk said, ""do you want a side of chips or a French baguette?"" I replied, ""never baguette."""

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, ""Awesome, now we're both barking."""

"give a man a fish, and he'll just expect more free fish. teach a man to fish, and you can stick him with crippling fishing school debt"

"People with scoliosis are the same as you or I... But with a twist. I'll see myself out."

"What killed the guy ordering at an Italian restaurant? He'd had trouble deciding to go with the appetizers or entrees, but eventually he went antipasto way."

"I like my women like I like my milk Rich, white, and 2% fat."

"Did you hear about the bread-less klansman who couldn't drink milk? He lacked toast and tolerance."