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Joke of the Day

"The most misogynistic joke you will ever hear Why did the motorcyclist get charged for manslaughter when he killed his wife? Because he was drunk and never meant to ride in the kitchen."

"I illegally download music, but only Metallica. They seem to be pretty cool about it."

"I have a wig, I have an orange, ugh Donald Trump"

"What do you call a bear that is missing all of its teeth?? A Gummy Bear!"

"A man boards a plane. An attractive flight attendant walks towards the man and asks: ""Would you like some headphones?"" The man replies: ""Yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"""

"A cat gives birth in a public park... ...and is fined $50 for littering."

"How many fat people does it take to get a subreddit banned? [This post has been banned for your protected - Ellen Pao] ^^^NINJAEDIT: ^^^Just ^^^one"

"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"

"I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, ""Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. """

"Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened."