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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent."
Next Joke
"so awkward when the bill for the wall comes out and no one reaches for it"
"Why doesn't the U.S. government allow students to visit North Korea? They become victims of youth-in-asia!"
"In high school, what was Robert E Lee voted? Most likely to secede"
"""Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?"" I mumbled into the tv remote."
"Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired"
"I was in a taxi when the driver said.. I was in a taxi when the driver said""I love my job! I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!"". I said ""Great. Now take a left here!"""
"I used to work at a soda pressing factory... I had to compress soda cans all day. It was so depressing. (so...da...pressing). HA!"
"If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them."
"ME: it's horrible. I would wish it on my worst enemy GUY: you mean *wouldn't* ME: hahahahahaha you're sweet"