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Joke of the Day

"told my mum i wanted to get a tattoo in a disgusted manner she replied 'over my dead body!' i was like, 'well i was planning on getting it on mine, whilst breathing'"

"The only thing worse than girls going after the ""Bad Boy"" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is."

"What rhymes with Jon Snow? He doesn't know. , Sorry for the lame joke, just made it up."

"My friend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more"

"How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin? She can run faster than her brother."

"I like my coffee how I like my employees Free and Black (I know this joke is around but I feel like this is the best wording) Don't downvote because it's racist, it's still a joke"

"Do you know the difference between a cheeseburger and a blowjob? Come on. Lets go to lunch. My treat."

"Why are jerks nice sometimes? Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)"

"[job interview] ""We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position."" It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. ""...yes."""

"My mom wants 3-D eye surgery to see 3-D movies without glasses. I told her they don't exist. She doesn't care. Operation's next Tuesday."