174925

Joke of the Day

"Do you know the difference between a cheeseburger and a blowjob? Come on. Lets go to lunch. My treat."

"[batteries in my TV remote die for the first time since I bought it 4 years ago] ""Useless piece of shit."""

"What begins with an ""s"", ends with a ""x"" and leaves a guy blown away? Semtex."

"*I throw u a kiss* *u duck* *it flies into space* [6 bn yrs later - the planet Xargx] LORD ZARG: Kill the- *kiss hits his cheek* LZ: Aww nvm"

"Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies? Everywhere"

"Turtles often outlive their owners, a fact the police refuse to treat as suspicious"

"I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes."

"Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver."

"To Find and Replace the new /r/news sidebar terminology Find ""Rule"" Replace with ""Shari'a Law"""

"What do you call a large pile of kittens? A meowntain."