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Joke of the Day

"I got stuck in a tornado once It sucked"

"My superpower is being able to talk to dead people... they can't talk back, though."

"They say money can't buy happiness But it can buy a boat and invite happiness over for the weekend."

"Being elected President wouldn't give me the level of self-satisfaction I have after a car speeds by me & I end up next to it at a red light"

"parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock! clock: 11:01 me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now"

"A woman who has no idea how hot she is, is so hot."

"I realize not everyone is cool with Easter egg hunts, but they are vital. They help manage the egg population and keep it at healthy levels"

"All the liberals want to move to Canada... What's wrong with Mexico, you racist fucks?"

"What does the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's offensive to talk about."

"What's the difference between Eric cartman and deez nuts? One is a dick from Southpark, the other parks south of my dick"