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Joke of the Day

"My youngest brother told me this one, he laughed for hours afterwards. What's worse than being a butt-half? Being a butt-whole!"

"What's the difference between a jew and a boy-scout? Boy-scout comes back from the camp"

"I didn't see anyone important today, so I'll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow."

"That awesome moment when you flip your pillow over to the cold side."

"I bet in Somalia a kid has been like ""I'm so hungry!"" and another's like ""Third world problem!"" and they both laugh and die and stuff."

"So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forget the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"I just invented a new word. Plagiarism"

"Boy: What's black slimy with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin."

"What's the difference between a rhinoceros and a mattababy? [Works every time] What's a mattababy? Nothing what's a matta with you"

"I fucked your mom! Shut up dad."