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Joke of the Day

"*puts spider in the ocean* ""Now go free and flourish into an octopus."" *cuts girl in half & puts in ocean* ""Mermaid probably."""

"Hey, what's the difference between reddit and LOTR? In the books and movies, the trolls didn't type."

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well"

"Why do you think that God hates fags rather than figs? Oh, I got confused; after all, they are both painful on the anus!"

"As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts."

"Driving isn't even in the top 5 things I'm thinking about when I'm driving."

"Atheists, we get it. You don't have faith in anything except your ability to shove your lack of faith in the face of those who have faith."

"Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?"

"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"" His father replied, ""well, son, you probably got it from your mom, because I still have mine."""

"What's the difference between a dwarven packrat and a venereal disease? One is a runt with a cache."