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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl? A cock that stays up all night."

"How do Australians clean their ass after pooping? Bidet, mate!"

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"COP: Your home was robbed ME: Dang I had a self-designed alarm system C: Didn't work M: Back to the drawing board C: They stole that M: Dang"

"They were just called ranch doritos until they started smoking parliaments and listening to mumford and sons"

"Why is Boromir such a hit at orgies? Because when he blows his horn everyone comes ;)"

"I think Inception really hit home with me because it's basically a story about sleeping."

"A roman centurion walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says: ""Five beers, please."""

"What does snoop dogg use to wash his clothes? BLEYOTCH!"

"Why do vampires drink virgin blood? If you were going to eat a sandwich, you would enjoy it more knowing no one had fucked it"