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Joke of the Day

"If I have three bags of sour skittles and a child steals one bag of my sour skittles. What will I have at the end of the day? Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide."

"Calm down check out guy, you don't have to inspect my $20 so hard, If I was talented enough to make my own, I wouldn't be in Quickie Mart.."

"needs to stop keeping the cocaine next to the coffee creamer. I screwed up again. drinking a cup now and it has that weird milky taste."

"Do arcades ever clean the joysticks? 'Cause I've sucked on a few and they tasted awful."

"Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only."

"Why was Jimmy Glasscock bad at hide and seek? You could always see him coming."

"What's red and orange and looks good on hipsters? Fire."

"Reagan laying down some jokes about the Soviets. (Youtube clip) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3z3eSVG7A"

"What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? ...Baaaaaahumbug"

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank 4 gallons of tea? They found him dead the next day in his tea pee."