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Joke of the Day

"Marriage counsellor: What's the problem? Wife: He is so literal. It drives me mad. MC: And how do you feel, Stephen? Me: With my hands."

"Im opening a DIY whorehouse. It's called ""Go fuck yourself""."

"Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people said ""Taxi!"""

"I told my GF that I'm jealous of her V-J. She shows me NO pity, though. She just rubs it in my face"

"How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter."

"Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard."

"People call me Mr Compromise. Wasn't my first choice for a nickname, but I can live with it."

"what do you call fake spaghetti? impasta."

"My favourite Celine Dion song is the one where it's muted all the way through."

"Why did the president start the bar fight? So he could pass the bill."