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Joke of the Day

"Reading's great. You stare at stained slices of tree for hours on end, hallucinating vividly as time passes you by."

"What do a Caucasian woman's breasts have in common with clouds? They're both white fluffy things that float high above the fruitful land where the seeds are planted. Source: Brandon Sanderson"

"Of course, Ludacris isn't his real name. It's Louis D'Cristofferson."

"What do Reddit and Duke University have in common? They're both full of blue devs."

"[reading message i found in a bottle that drifted onto the beach] to myself: ""updog.. what's updog?"" [another bottle hits my foot]"

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich."

"Anyone who says ""Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other,"" is just running out of battery and needs a charge."

"My neighbourhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer for 6 years. I never knew he was a barber."

"What happens when memes get lose? ( )"

"Did you know that the Shitzu and Bulldog breeds can never crossbreed ever? Just kidding, that's bullshit."