199631

Joke of the Day

"What do Reddit and Duke University have in common? They're both full of blue devs."

"Teaching 19 to cook, clean, and do laundry so if he ever gets married his wife won't divorce him and make him my responsibility again."

"Why did the eagle fly into the church? It was a bird of pray"

"1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave"

"When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams."

"Nobel Peace Prize I would kill for one of those"

"What do cats love to read. catalogs"

"Sorry babe, you knew you were dating a bad boy [shuffles Pokemon cards without the plastic covers]"

"I had my first UFO experience this morning I walked into the kitchen and said to the missus ""Morning fat ass"". Next thing there were flying saucers coming at me from everywhere!"

"My friends think im a magician when I make chocolate disappear... But little do they know, i'v got a few Twix up my sleeve..."