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Joke of the Day

"So I went around to a friends house... And on his mantle was a bronze statue of an animal butt. When I asked him about it he said it was a catastrophe."

"Baller is short for ballerina"

"How do you make a gay person angry? You tell him you've kidnapped his mother and that you want $5000 for her release, but when he comes just tell him it was a prank."

"[waffle house] Waitress: how do u like your eggs Me: hatched and with their families W: no how do u like them cooked M: [spits out coffee]"

"Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more? He kept trying to shave the princess."

"If God is a woman, then why aren't we sandwiches?"

"Why are there no awards for excellence in betas? Because no one wants to be the master beta tester."

"What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly? A herrocopter"

"why didn't jimmy drive the tractor? Because he had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? Because he was a potato."

"I was dating an archaeologist but I had to break up with her Turns out she was a gold digger."