155469

Joke of the Day

"Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more? He kept trying to shave the princess."

"""I'm dreaming about mashed potatoes"" Oh because Thanksgiving is tomorrow ""No, just a normal mashed potato dream like usual"""

"Why is Arjen Robben not being invited to Alfredo Di Stefanos funeral? They're scared he'll try to dive in the box."

"A bear walked in the forest Suddenly he saw a burning car. The bear sat in the car. And burned."

"What does a curry and a bad uncle have in common? They both hurt your arsehole"

"A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."

"In some ways it's sucks that we are smart enough to understand the futility of life. But luckily we're also smart enough to invent alcohol."

"Adult: If it ain't broke don't fix it Child: If it ain't breakable, not interested"

"What do you call an Eagle who can't catch it's prey? *Talon*tless. ...Sorry."

"Heckling I am looking for some heckling like jokes to yell out during soccer games. Any ideas?"