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Joke of the Day

"I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button."

"I hate how funerals are always at 9-10 AM... I'm not really a mourning person"

"roundabouts My girlfriend isn't very fond of the many roundabouts that our city is starting to build. I told her that she'd come around to them."

"I'd be able to find affordable glasses... In an eye deal world."

"My friend told me his wife talks a lot in her sleep ""I know"" was probably not the right answer"

"Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead."

"How do you know if Helen Keller just masturbated? She spits when she talks."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? because the 'p' is silent."

"An African athlete has been banned from the Commonwealth Games after testing positive to a performance enhancing substance.' ....Food."

"I sometimes send letters to my parents... They're nothing to write home about."