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Joke of the Day
"Why wouldn't the vampire eat his soup? It clotted."
Next Joke
"How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but you have to get them in the lightbulb first."
"Got caught talking to myself today. So I pretended I was a tree until they walked away."
"Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves."
"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because their boobs are too big for b-shells."
"A set of jumper cables walks into a bar The waiter looks at him and says "" I'll serve you, but don't start anything."""
"Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means? Me: We have to be quick! *Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*"
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $50 to have a garbanzo bean on my face :O"
"How many protesters does it take to change a lightbulb? **TRICK QUESTION. THEY CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING**"
"When my wife is sleeping I open her handbag, take out my balls, pat them & whisper ""I know guys I miss you too"" then put them back quietly."