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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves."

"Mommy, they call me nymphomaniac at school... -Don't worry Lissa, it's just kid's stuff. Now you go to sleep before dark, or the Boogeyman will come at eat you. -Yeah! He should come and eat my pussy!"

"Making jokes on Twitter is a lot like making jokes in real life. Except without the frightened faces of strangers on buses"

"I heard there was an amber alert! I was like ""Shit Terrorist attack!But then my friend told it meant that some kid had gone missing. I was like ""Oh thank god!"""

"How do Japanese Chihuahuas say hello? Konichihuahua."

"How many Super Sayajins does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it lasts five episodes. And Kuririn dies."

"What is Sean Connery's favorite dish? A seizure salad."

"I tried to convince the grape that she had dried out... But I just couldn't raisin with her. I'll see myself out."

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."""

"What kind of car does Hillary Clinton drive? A Subaru"