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Joke of the Day

"What does a lawyer say to another lawyer? We are both a lawyer."

"I wonder if they ever considered calling it Jerry & Ben's."

"perfume should come with instructions like on medicine: Dab LIGHTLY on pulse points Do NOT marinade in event of overdose take shower"

"Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat? Damn E-mails!"

"How to you make an octopus laugh? ...you give it ten tickles"

"Turns out ""pick the biggest one & punch him in the face"" gets you more respect as a new prisoner than as a new 1st grade substitute teacher."

"""A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir"""

"Be sure that you go straight home after school I can't I live just round the corner !"

"Boss: ""late again I see"" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: ""your moms late."" Brain: wow...."

"What do you call a snake who works in the government? A civil serpent."