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Joke of the Day

"So Jesus can turn a Glass of Water into Wine Last night my drunk friend could turn a Glass of Water into Puke."

"Girls have their phone nonstop. So if they don't text you back within 30 minutes, she ain't feeling you bro."

"alladin: do u trust me jasmine: i've only known you for 2 hours a: so u don't wanna jump off this rooftop j: lemme ask my tiger first"

"Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A. A shadow"

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."

"Why can't Whitney Houston be a pharmacist? She over doses"

"Are you on Facebook ? Cos I sure would like to Poke You"

"What did the Banana say to the other Banana? You're very appealing"

"DON'T TOUCH ME! AND YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG! STOP IT! -wives, on their period Or if they're hungry. Or if you are actually breathing wrong."

"When it comes to Russian Roulette .. .. 5/6 approve"