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Joke of the Day

"So Jesus can turn a Glass of Water into Wine Last night my drunk friend could turn a Glass of Water into Puke."

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"Good Cop: If you tell us where the money is we can help you. Bag Cop: *majestically floats around the interrogation room on AC currents*"

"How many ears does spock have? (if you don't get it read it aloud) a left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"What do you call a child afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic"

"Has legs, but don't walk... has feathers but it is not a chicken... What it is? A dead horse with a duster in his ass"

"Did you hear a bunch of surgeons are at the comedy club? It's open Mike night."

"Why do redditors make such good fencers? They're used to dealing with ripostes."

"How do you get a philosopher off your porch? Pay him for the pizza."

"Why did the scarecrow receive a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field."