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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica? A BIPOLAR BEAR"

"A satanist asked why I would 420 blaze it, When i could 180 and praise it."

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought, ""I can't turn that down."""

"We were so much better at drinking and driving in the 80aTMs. You kids today really fucked it up."

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool"""

"Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?? There was nothing left but de Brie."

"No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married."

"Ladies, if Men had PMS they'd get into fist fights, defraud partners, start wars, abuse women, stop paying child support..HEY-wait a minute!"

"My girlfriend likes to call my dick ""The Cannon"" because it has a short fuse and only one ball."

"What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing he didn't recognize them!"