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Joke of the Day

"The first 36 years of my childhood have been the hardest."

"Staring deeply into the abyss. Paralyzed by fear. Unable to move, let alone function. In short, yes, Pandora. I'm still listening."

"I'm not going back to school ever again Why ever not? The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!"

"What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis? Occupational hazard."

"Short joke What do you call a short person that knows Martial Arts? Midjitsu!"

"I have kids now... Their parents must be angry."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says, ""Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!"

"Overly Polite Twins Why were the overly polite twins almost never born? ""After you."" ""No, after you."""

"Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because... He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house..."

"If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to sh!t yourself when you see everything else going on in the world."