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Joke of the Day

"When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle."

"exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said ""that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day"" but it turned out to be a lamppost"

"I started downloading Jaws the other day But after one megabyte, my computer died."

"Don't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"Here's a mind bender my 8 year old son came up with: Why are trees green? For camouflage."

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"What happens when a cow jumps over barbed wire? Udder destruction!"

"What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch? Namaste"

"What's the only mammal that can breathe under ice? An elephant hiding in your fridge"