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Joke of the Day

"I saw six men carrying a coffin in the cemetery. Two hours later they were still carrying the coffin around the cemetery I thought to myself ""They've lost the plot"""

"I think Sandra Bullock chooses movies based solely on the number of times she can say ""Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"""

"Whenever I see a couple with a significant height difference, I always picture them doing it."

"""I have to inform you that you're sitting in an exit row and are legally required to take a photo of the plane wing and post it on Facebook"""

"As an adult, it's exciting to know that I'll soon be old enough to play a high school student on ABC Family."

"My grandfather always used to say that to really know a person, you have to walk in his shoes. He had six hundred and nine pairs when they finally caught him."

"Date etiquette: The smaller fork is a salad fork. Use the larger fork to eat the salad fork."

"Running and Cars He who runs in front of car gets tired. He who runs behind car gets exhausted."

"Coffee... If you're British, it may not be your cup of tea."

"Life is short. Beat it up and steal its lunch money."