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Joke of the Day

"As an adult, it's exciting to know that I'll soon be old enough to play a high school student on ABC Family."

"A guy really wants to make it in Hollywood.. So he starts cleaning his room desperately. His mate: ""What are you doing man?"" Him: "" I am dusting off man.."""

"Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery."

"How'd you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"""He be dead."" Who? Your English teacher?"

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"

"What kind of juice does hitler drink? Concentrated juice."

"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"

"whatever you do Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."

"What's brown and sticky? The remains of an overused punchline"