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Joke of the Day
"Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes is out of shape. Yoga pants."
Next Joke
"Son: ""Dad, can you give me 30 bucks?"" Dad: ""20 bucks? What the hell do you need 10 bucks for?!"""
"As a cop, I don't know how to deal with black people... But I guess I'll take a shot at it."
"I wish work was like high school when I could just poop my pants to get sent home."
"Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other ""Pass the soap."" The other says. ""Ice cream doesn't have bones."""
"My husband is out w/friends & I'm at home w/the kids. I'm going to sprinkle Legos under the covers on his side of the bed."
"what did they call the disc jockey who kept playing the same songs again and again? DJ Vu"
"Which state does the most laundry? Washington."
"*gets lockjaw when putting on eyeliner*"
"shaking hands is weird, it's like ""hey, i don't know you. let's touch each other"""