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Joke of the Day
"*gets lockjaw when putting on eyeliner*"
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"I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and kept in the freezer."
"A guy named Shane can never date an Asian girl... ... Because then she would bring Shane to her family."
"LPT: Next time you want to tell someone facing you ""my right"" just say left"
"Batman: Nobody will ever know the location of the bat cave! Iron Man: Here's my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll keep the door unlocked"
"Was surprised when my son came out the closet yesterday... I didn't think he could break through that lock."
"""My goodness, you've grown a foot since I last saw you..."" ...said the doctor in Chernobyl."
"What is a paradox? A small medical clinic."
"Why does a dog lick it's balls? Because they're delicious. What? You've never tried them? You're missing out."
"""We're up all night to get Loki"" -Daft Punk feat. The Avengers"