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Joke of the Day

"Fill out job applications in crayon... ...and if you don't get hired, just blame it on your color."

"Saint Peter in Heaven So, I was in the mood for some ""Saint Peter in the gates of Heaven"" jokes... Anyone have something?"

"You never really realize how messed up your family is, until you start describing them to people that don't know them."

"We didn't have Legos when I was a kid. We had Lincoln Logs & we could build anything with them: big cabin, small cabin, you name the cabin."

"You are so ugly... ...the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand ripped through the toilet paper."

"""Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"" RAPUNZEL: Hey hair, ya wanna go get ice cream? HAIR: Yeah! RAPUNZEL: Well too bad. Because we're not."

"A sniper looks over a large crowd of people from his hidden perch. Over his earpiece, he is told to fire at will. He carefully spots his target, and shoots. ""Crap, that wasn't Will."""

"* see weird traffic pattern * turns down radio * smoothly avoids gargantuan pothole * runs over sign saying avoid gargantuan pothole"

"What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Fillipe F'Lop"

"Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you?"