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Joke of the Day
"A hipster guy is one who kept his grandpa's clothes but lost his grandpa's work ethic."
Next Joke
"How do you know if someone is a vegan? Because everyone around them will be giving them shit for it."
"How many christians does it take to change a lightbulb? three, but they're really one"
"Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course no one pays the least bit of attention."
"Me: Your generation sits around with their noses in their phones Niece: Your generation made the guys who wrote the Macarena rich Me: ..."
"I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down?"
"There was a massive fight in the chip shop yesterday! A fish got battered."
"I accused the construction man for damaging my sidewalk. ""You are going to need concrete evidence if you want to prove me guilty"""
"The iPad 2 will be released on March 11th. Of course, as a celebrity, I'm already using my complimentary iPad 7. The screen touches ME!"
"Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high."