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Joke of the Day

"You don't need to tell me that I'm not your cup of tea. I am well aware that I'm not a cup of tea, idiot."

"When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put ""lame shorts"" and nothing happened"

"What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet."

"When I die I want everyone.. ..... come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back and not say a word, so everyone will think I lived a cool double life."

"If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you."

"How does Australians have sex? They mate"

"How to change a baby: 1. Swap it out with a Labrador pup when no one's looking"

"Be careful! Someone's using this sub to target victims He's a real predditor"

"Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!"

"I don't see the point of buying an autobiography when I can just flip to the last page and read the author's biography."