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Joke of the Day

"How do the Chinese select their baby names? They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang"

"An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying ""good boy."""

"I am hoping to have a gay child So that one day he/she will come to me and say ""Dad, I'm gay"" To which I will reply ""Hi gay, I'm dad"""

"Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife? Because you're a smaller, less effective version of everything I need."

"Ladies - how do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"I was bitten by a Hasidic Jew. The doctor in the E/R gave me Rabbi shots."

"I didn't know what to do with all the gifts my ex gave me. So I took antibiotics until they went away."

"Found a bag of weed in my son's bedroom, absolutely horrified! The thing was practically all stems and seeds."

"If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily"

"Why did the Pepsi Half-Time Show suck so much? Because if it was the Coke Half-Time there would have been a hologram of Tupac or the Beetles instead of Bruno Mars."