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Joke of the Day

"Found a bag of weed in my son's bedroom, absolutely horrified! The thing was practically all stems and seeds."

"Why is Texas not a part of Mexico? Because Oklahoma sucks so much"

"Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, ""I'll have some H2O."" The second one says, ""I'll have some H2O too."" The second one dies."

"A dad asks his son... ""What is the 25th letter of the alphabet?"" The son answers, ""Y."" ""Because I want to know!"""

"What's the difference between a Penis and a paycheck? After five years your Wife will still blow your paycheck"

"What's Hitler's favourite cany? Nazipan"

"I happily dad joked my fiance While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side. To which I replied, ""At least you won't smell half bad!"""

"I was leaving the golf course yesterday... when I ran into a guy whose face was all scratched up. I was like ""holy shit man your face is all bloody, are you ok?"" ""Yeah, but I just blew an eagle on 18"

"Your dog may be smarter than an honor student... but when was the last time you saw a mother carrying a plastic bag in case her honor student shits in the neighbor's yard?"

"I am a joke. I am not a joke. What is laughter? DEATH! I died of laughter tomorrow!"