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Joke of the Day

"Two Snowmen are in a field... ...and one turns to the other and says ""Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."" My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion."

"I recently joined the Klu Klux Klan I'm not racist, I just want to know the secret of how they keep their white sheets so fucking white!"

"what did the banana say to the vibrator? What are YOU shaking for?....................................... She's going to eat me!"

"I like to observe people in lines. I'm in Wait Watchers."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes: *whack* ""Dang!"" A bad skydiver goes: ""Dang!"" *whack*"

"Egyptian fisherman what did the egyptian fisherman say to the other egyptian fisherman after his wife had died? I'm in de-nile"

"This woman asked me if I had ever been in a stable relationship. I told her that I wasn't into livestock."

"What does the funeral director say to the 11am service goers? Mournin'"

"I wish someone would leave a horse's head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head."

"If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving TOO much. And several felonies in 3 different states. But mostly loving too much."