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Joke of the Day

"Liam Gallagher was never good in science. When asked to name 3 chemical elements, he said ""Gold and silver and sunshine."""

"What is Ke$ha's computer password? Pa$$word"

"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Hello Pregnant"", he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. ""I'm Dad"""

"This guy at the bar yells in my face ""Have you been sleeping with my wife?!""... I said ""No, she's always awake when I'm over there"""

"Did you see the clown that hides from morons?"

"I hate when living under a rock is compared to Fox News. At least living under a rock helps me better understand the suffering of the poor."

"Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!"

"NSSSA -National Stutter Association."

"5yo: Dad! Dad! Wake up! Me: What? What's wrong? 5yo: You said last night you need to be up by 7.. Me: It's 4am! 5yo: I can't tell time.."

"How much money do hookers with shallow vaginas make? Just the tips."