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Joke of the Day

"Did you see the clown that hides from morons?"

"A father asks his son ""Son, why are you not hanging out with Mark any more?"" ""Would you want to hang out with someone who is drunk and does drugs every day?"" ""Of course not!"" ""Well, neither does he."""

"[Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?"

"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."

"Two were sitting in the table on a bar First one: We are leaving. Second one: No, we are staying. First one: WE ARE LEAVING. Battery on my phone is 4%."

"What does the Sargeant of the Knowledge division always tell his troops to get? in formation"

"Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either."

"What do michael jackson and Mcdonald's have in common? they both put thirty year old meat in five year old buns"

"What did the cannibals do with the midget? Put another shrimp on the barbie."

"One day I'm gonna go to work without my glasses and they're gonna be like, ""Who's that hottie?"" and I'm gonna be like, ""WHO IS SAYING THAT?"""