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Joke of the Day

"I hate when living under a rock is compared to Fox News. At least living under a rock helps me better understand the suffering of the poor."

"If I Cuold Time Travel I wouldn't have dropped out of school"

"I only date girls that smoke weed I guess you can say I have high standards"

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work."

"For the New Year, I vow to take a selfie at 720p.m. It's a decent resolution."

"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."

"Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard."

"Just texted ""I still love you"" to about 50 random phone numbers."

"I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential..."

"Me and my recliner... We go way back."