73603

Joke of the Day

"On the occasion of Women's Day...my wife decided to take a rest ...so I am the boss for today....."

"How does a Jew make coffee? He brews it."

"What do you call an average guy who's happy? Fake and gay"

"Taking calculus has made me want to become Prime Minister of a European country Then I can just throw money at problems instead of trying to integrate them."

"Three positives Thursday afternoon in the office: Me: yay it's 1.45pm, Coworker: and it's Thursday, Me: three positives, Coworker: what's the third, Me: It's still cumming!"

"I told my son if he doesn't step it up, I'm going to start living vicariously through someone else's kid."

"Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in the pot? Because one more would be ""two-fahrty"""

"Pal: That's an impressive stingray. How'd you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way."

"How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb? Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better."

"I just made myself a sandwich... which, if I'm understanding Twitter law correctly... makes me my own bitch."